to whoever is reading this,
you've clicked for a reason.
It may be that you suffer from seasonal depression, or depression in general.
I'm not equipped to give you any sort of professional quality advice about depression.
Even so, I sure can talk about it with you, and offer some helpful insight.
How it always starts for me
It is the same every year... summer comes and goes faster than expected. All of a sudden the nights are too cold for tank tops and shorts. Before I know it, the sun is setting at 8pm....then at 7pm....then 6pm... It's dark before I have even thought about what I want for dinner.
I always know the seasonal depression will creep in. But every single year it manages to creep in so quietly that all of a sudden I am smacked with it.
Symptoms
For some reason I always loose my appetite. I lose the spark I normally have to plan recipes and cook new things. I tend to eat a lot more already prepared foods.
The spark for doing things I normally enjoy also fades. I LOVE filming ASMR. Absolutely love it. It is therapeutic for me. When I feel myself having to pull myself off the couch to film, I know we're in that seasonal slump.
I sleep... like A LOT.. too much... I sleep because I am tired, but also because I want to. I want to because I don't *want* to do the other things I normally want to do.
I dissociate. I rarely dissociate in the summer months, yet I find myself at the gym staring off into the abyss, literally forgetting I am a human. It makes that moment feel unreal, like a scene in a movie. Everything somehow seems darker, and heavier?
How to make it better <3
If you've clicked this, you probably already know you suffer from seasonal depression, or depression. You may feel these types of feelings all the time, or seasonally.
It took me a lot of years to realize the depressive slump I would fall into worked like clockwork. Always winter, it always crept up and surprised me. But once I realized it, it really got me thinking.
It astounded me that the amount, or the timing of sunlight can effect us in such ways.
What can we do to make this better?
LIGHT :D
It literally seems so silly and simple, but if the lack of sunlight can put us into this slump we sure can try to mimic it to make us feel even a little bit better. Turn your lights on, get MORE lights. Make them fun while you're at it. If you have the means to keep yourself in a well lit area, do it!!! If you don't have the means, please let me buy you a lamp <3 It is seriously astonishing what the addition of light can do for you. While you're at it, close your blinds and curtains. I think this helps "shut out" the darkness while you make a cozy well light area inside for yourself.
Find someone to relate to
Hey, that's me :) Chatting with someone can help open your mind up about your feelings. I've always felt alone about seasonal depression, but so many others suffer. Find someone trusted, you can both make a pact to help each other when it is needed.
"hey I'm feeling down can you give me a simple task?"
"Sure!!! Go to the nearest drug store, to buy a coloring book. Color it!"
Or "Take an hour to shower/bathe and put a face mask on"
Then, actually do it.
Make an effort to keep doing the things you love
It may ebb and flow throughout your depression that you fall into and out of love with certain things or hobbies. If it is something you TRULY enjoy, it is likely the depression talking when you feel you are falling out of love with it.
Sometimes it is okay to take a break from it. Allow yourself this break, but get into the habit of giving yourself a timeline.
"By this date: ___ I will make sure I film whatever asmr video I feel like doing"
Then allow yourself rest from the activity, and hold yourself accountable to the date you put. This allows you to give yourself time, and space from whatever it is, while also making active efforts to get back into it.
Be gentle with yourself
I struggle so much with this one. It is hard to allow yourself to be gracious TO yourself. Sometimes that is literally all you have to do. Set everything else aside and just allow yourself time to be okay with and understand you're having a hard time. You may not be hitting goals you had previously set, allow room for grace. You may be missing meetings or hangouts with friends, allow room for grace. Remember you are human, you have gone through a lot <3
If you ever need "that person" to relate to, I want you to know that it can be me. Whether you feel your depression is seasonal, or not. Never hesitate to reach out.
I know these are just words on a page, but as I sit here, writing this, I can't help but hope I am able to reach someone and allow them to feel my actual presence in these words. I want you to know you are loved. Like I love to say:
If people can hate each other without meeting, and for no reason at all,
then I get to love you without meeting & for no reason.
<3
Eevy
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